This made me laugh

Be careful peeps, I don’t know if it’s a scam but I just received a phone call informing me that I’ve won either £250 or two tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute show.....it then said press 1 for the money...or two for the show

 

Elvis is playing Our Bowling Club next week,weve got a poster at work.

 

it must be an imposter, cause he is at the Angus hotel in Blair next week

 

There’l be more than the dust cap missing if that goes off but what a fantastic idea, hide one somewhere out of sight with the pin attached to a line anchored to something solid then when the bike gets nicked BOOOOOOOOOOM bye bye bike, but bye bye thieving low life scum bag as well

 

See, There can be no doubt. Its the real Elvis Arron Presley.Hes even got his old army uniform.

 

Thats an imposter sprinter! Elvis's middle name is Aaron

 

Damm,well he had me.

 

A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

 

Apparently they have separate parking spaces for women in Germany...

 

So you would qualify for that one Gloria

 

Wouldn’t be the first or last time one of those assholes flies threw a vent on your lid eith causing you to do an emergency stop.
Has happened twice to me over the years!
Bloody vicious insects !
I call them Sids because they are so vicious.

 

I may be stupid at times but not that stupid
Makes me think of the scene in City Slickers 2 were Phil goes to do his business , sits on a catcus.
See a rattle snake and thinks the rattlesnake bit him in the proverbial.
Billy Crystal then has to suck the poison out but thankfully finds the catcus needle

 

We nearly lost this little girl to a severe wasp attack whilst at Kemble air show, we went round to see the Brittania and she disturbed a whole nest, they were crawling out of her fur, but being the tuff little thing she was she survived o,k, but the vet said she could have died from anaphalactic shock, we were very lucky!

She is sitting in the front seat of my Land Rover, here usual place!