We call our granddad Spiderman. Not because he's got superhuman powers but because he can't get out of the bath. --------------------------------------------------------------- My wife's locked herself in the kitchen in a rage after a massive argument over how miserable and tight I've become. She's in there now, ripping all the plates in half. --------------------------------------------------------------- I nearly got knocked off my bike by a council salt wagon last night. "You dozy (insert profanity of choice)" I shouted, through gritted teeth. --------------------------------------------------------------- Little Red Riding Hood has been found by a member of the public, unconscious and in a critical condition. Paramedics have stabilised her condition and the Air Ambulance is in attendance. However, I must stress, she is not out of the woods yet.
I liked the patio set with barbeqe including a sofa swing - contestant said " I live on the top floor of a block of flats"
