Rant of the day

I couldn't deny you the pleasure of my pathetic struggle with a tin of corned beef.
I cannot tell you the number of extreme solutions that were going through my head.

 

Never liked corned beef anyway

 

SPAM at chez crispey?

 

Give it time mate. Keeps freezing the side bar on my laptop. Have to open task (tsk!) manager to click on aps to open the feckers, or reboot.

 

Stick your tin of corned beef in the fridge. Makes it much easier to carve, assuming you can get the tin open of course (maybe should put this in the 'Good to Know' thread). Also, keep a junior hacksaw and vice to hand for opening the tins.

 

Must be getting soft in your old age or you're no Tyke, use yer gnashers man !

 

Couldn't mate, they're at the dentists for repair! lol

 

Now that I've calmed myself down my assessment of the case is:

Root cause of failure 1: No key on the tin
Corrective action 1: Chuck the bastard tin in the bin!

Root cause of failure 2: Score marks in the side of the tin too shallow
Corrective action 2: Chuck the bastard tin in the bin!

Root cause of failure 3: Incorrect tools used. Snipe nose Pliers, can opener, screwdriver. FFS
Corrective action 3: Chuck the bastard tin in the bin!

Root cause of failure 4: Hungry and not thinking straight
Corrective action 4: Get Fish & Chips on my home!

Root cause 5: Wife had been out shopping and hadn't had time to make owt for tea.
Corrective action 5a: Take all money and cards off her.
Corrective action 5a: Get shut! Only joking I love her really!

 

Not forgetting the Kevlar gloves Rich.
A proper H&S risk assessment would ban that F***ing shite method of tin opening or put a severe health warning on the the tin showing a dismembered digit.

 

Mick, do you know the movie 'Empire of the sun'? (1987, When Batman was little )
There's a scene, where the Americans drop food-containers on parachutes for the refugees and Christian Bale finds the cans, but no opener. Brilliantly played. Reminded me of your rant...

Here is the trailer:

 

Oh! Puh-leeeeze!! Foie gras

 

Good film that Winglad, never realised Christian Bale starred in it, I can well imagine how he felt.

 

Eat some spinach then you can open any can like Popeye

 

OK!! has anyone noticed where vehicle manufacturers are putting the indicators on cars nowadays????
Usually surrounded by the brake light which, surprise! surprise! is brighter than the indicator so in the rare instance that someone should decide to use their indicator before actually turning as opposed to when they turn, you can't see the damn thing anyway. I saw one on a hatchback the other day where the light cluster was up by the rear window but the indicator was down by the bumper. Does this imply that the motoring trade has excepted the fact that indicators are now used as an afterthought???

 

Funny, since it is a Golf (Rabbit?): here in Germany, more and more people do not use them at all nowadays. They ignore their existence just as they ignore red traffic lights (Germans, I mind you!)
When on the bike approaching a red light that turns green, I now have to slow down because a lot of times, there are one, or two cars still crossing on their red light...

Why?

Because: In a parking-garage a couple of low lifes were breaking into cars when the local private guard approached them. They ran and he gave chase with a car. They were stopped by a wire-fence and started to climb it.
The guard just rammed his car into the fence, shaking them down like ripe apples.
Guess, who is on trial now for attempted murder!!??

We became so busy prosecuting righteous citizens, that the as.holes have a jolly great time and slap their knees laughing.

End of rant.

 

Need them gloves that the oyster shuckers use for safety perhaps .

 

Ho

How big is your lawn ?
You could get a goat!

 

2 WEEKS !!! 2 bloody weeks and I haven't been on the bike, bank holiday tomorrow and I gotta go do family crap.
Bollox, what makes it worse, is weather has been good, and hear loads of bikes going past my house.



One is not a happy bunny

 

2WEEKS??
I love my family
But..........2WEEKS?????

 

i think the whole of Scotland must have been out on their bikes today

 

Why don't you just rub in!!!
Was busy last weekend puppy sitting and chopping down tree's, then a wedding all day yesterday, so couldn't risk riding this morning, drink drive in Scotland is way too tight to risk it, and a neighbour 60th wedding anniversary do this afternoon.
Then back home to sell a couple of pups. Amazing how weekends just get away from you.
Hopefully dry this week, no daughter to take into school, so bike will be out every day

 

Can I have another rant.
My mate was killed on his Explorer just outside Dalbeattie. Looks like head on into a van. Don't know who's fault, don't really care. He was a really good guy, always full of life and abusive banter. Called a spade a feckin shovel. Used to come out on all the charity rides, usually with his daughter on pillion, until she passed her test and got her own bike last month. Mick Cloy was his name. Ironically last time we met was at a Bikesafe event in Dumfries.
I am ranting cos it so pisses me off when I lose someone, and to do it, doing something he loved.

Not looking for sympathy, just for you to be careful out there guys. Losing one pal is enough.

 

1. Yes
2. No, driving and bit hungover.
3. £1100!!!

Still rather bern on the bike for a couple of hours

 

Nice onemilky bars are on you

 

Be bugger all of that left once the sire has been paid, puppy food, microchipping, worming solution (£40 for a wee bottle !!!) and the waste management company are paid for the removal of the prodigious amount of shite they pump out !!! Will need about 4 skips to take it all away



Just back from an early morning blast, woke up at my usual work time, so instead of going back to sleep, bike gear on and an hours blast around the Loch and hills. Better now.